Boyfriend Application

Just in case I would ever decide to date it would be good to be prepared!

1)  What is your current status?

A) Single and ready to mingle

B)  Seeing a few girls

C)  I have a girl but we can keep it on the low low

*If you answered A please proceed to the next question.  Sorry but Im an attention whore and dont waste my time on dogs.

2)  What is your education level?

A)  graduated, college

B)  currently in college

C)  drop out

*If you answered A or B please proceed to the next question. Im only attracted to those with ambition:)

3)  What is your occupation?

A)  Young professional

B)  Street pharmacist

C) work? who needs work?

*If you answered A please proceed. I dont like illegitimate “ballers” or slackers.

4)  Do you use meth, blow or anything more than weed?

A)  absolutely not, thats disgusting

B)  every now and then

C)  everyday, Im actually about to get faded right now

*If you answered A you may proceed. Ive already been through B & C…wont do that again

5)  How close are you with your family?

A)  We talk almost everyday

B)  every now & then

C)  They hate me

*If you answered A you may proceed to the next question.  The importance of family is above anything else that may be labeled a priority.

6)  Have you ever cheated?

A)  Absolutely not

B)  once or twice

C) Im a fucking dog

*If you answered A please proceed to the next question.  Do you know how many test prove that it is in a mans genes to cheat? Lots

7) Do you know how to cook?

A) Yes

B) Sort of

C)  Woman go cook your man some din-din

*If you answered A or B please proceed to the next question. I know NOTHING about cooking. This is the 21st century…cook your din-din suckah

8)  Do you clean? Are you clean? Do you have over the sink and leave your nasty ass facial hair spread all over the sink?

A) Immaculately clean

B)  Half-half

C)  Im a pig

*  If you answered A please proceed to the next question. B & C….gross. Wash yourself fool

9)  Are you secure with yourself?

A)  Im proud of who I am and accept my personality

B)  Sometimes Im jealous or feel intimidated

C)  I dont have any idea who the fuck I am

*  If you answered A you may proceed.  Sorry but I have plenty of my own issues all securely bundled up inside:) I dont need yours tripping me up….you gotta be secure with yourself.

10)  Do you have any tattoos or piercings?

A) Hells yeah

B)  I dont but I love tattoos

C)  Gross

*If you answered A or B please proceed to the next question.  Momma loves her ink:)

11)  Are children in your plans?

A)  I love kids & hope to have children someday

B)  Love my kids

C)  No way, no kids for me

* If you answered A please proceed to #13. If you answered B please proceed to #12. If you answered C hit the road. Im a mother and my daughter will always come before you.

12)  You love your kids…great….how is your relationship with baby momma?

A)  Shes the mother of my child(ren) and I respect her for that. I should thank her for giving me the opportunity to be a father.

B) She is a psycho bitch

C)  I dont see her or my kids

*If you answered A please proceed to the next question.  If you answered B or C get to steppin.  She birthed your children and you should respect her for that.  If you dont see her or your kids then shame on you. No room for dead beat dads here

13)  Here is your chance to explain why you would be an exceptional canidate:)