Blank walls

Half way through November.

Boxes are starting to pile up along the wall, the moving truck has been reserved and the PIT is signed up at her new school.

It’s really happening.

I’m really doing this.

We’re doing this.

The PIT and I are starting a new chapter, together, as non traumatic as possible…..THIS is OUR chapter.

No pending divorce from a meth addicted he whore, no abusive alcoholic to leave….just us, the PIT and I……a blank slate…..

(That just gave me chills. Hells yeah)

We agreed our blank slate needed an ocean view, then I got to thinking….what didn’t our blank slate need?

I decided to part with some things that I’ve had since the first day I moved out when I was 17.

What’s the point of a blank slate if you’re just going to clutter it up with “stuff’?

And who the hell holds on to stuff for that long. Geesh, open to change much!?

The first to go was a set of 4 pictures that I had bought while in San Francisco with Mr Meth (before the meth).

I LOVED these pictures.

They weren’t even for sale that night 13 years ago.

After a busy day of exploring the piers of San Francisco, Mr Meth and I hopped on one of those rice-a-roni cars and headed into Chinatown to get dinner.

It was a beautiful restaurant and the food was phenomenal (and over $150 for the two of us).

This set of 4 panels caught my eye.

They were long, slender panels, black with pastel colored seashells pieced together to form a winding vine full of flowers.

I don’t know if it was the intricate detail or the colors but I couldn’t take my eyes off them.

Mr Meth could see that I really really wanted them so he begged (threatened, scared, bribed…don’t know) the owner to sell them to me….which he did.

They’ve hung on every living room wall that has surrounded me since.

Those pictures have seen a lot over the years….if they were able to talk, these pictures would have more to say then these walls…the pictures have come with me and been on every wall to see it all.

As lame as it sounds, I was kinda sad to take them off the walls and give them away today.

It was surreal walking into my apartment for the first time without them on the wall, welcoming me as I walk in the door.

The wall was blank.

The sadness was quickly flooded with the excitement of the blank wall…

the blank slate starring right back at me as if to say “Game on”.

It feels good to be challenged by my own walls.